What advice to give little ones amidst feuding parents & possible divorce?

Candy, your heart is definitely in the right place. Consider having a talk with step-mom, pointing out to her that while she may want to hurt her soon-to-be-ex, she's doing more damage to the kids. Presumably he will have visitation rights. If she makes it difficult then he will fight over child support payments. This becomes an endless circle with both sides fighting, continuously. And the kids certainly don't become winners. If she wants to fight your dad, let her but when she uses the kids as a battering ram she is really hurting them. Ask her to consider that if she is nice with the kids and works with them she will wind up with more child support and a much easier time when it comes to being flexible on visitation matters. Every visitation order I've ever seen needs to be adjusted and modified as personal schedules, work, other romances and vacations interfere. Court's prefer the parties to agree on scheduling rather than have them come into court (and pay money to the attorneys) every time there is an issue about whether dad's company changed his vacation schedule and now he needs two weeks in July instead of in August and mom wants to take the kids out of the state and neither wants to let the other do a damn thing. Big fights over the kids and the kids suffer. And the parents also suffer. So really try to work with step mom on this. Good luck.